Football Withdrawals? Me Too. Here's @FauxPelini to Help Those

Do you miss college football? Of course you do. Who doesn't. Drinks, hot girls and football. And drinks.

Thankfully, football never sleeps for Nebraska coach Bo Pelini and his parody twitter account, @FauxPelini. I was having some withdrawals, so I caught up with "Bo" and the man behind the account. Enjoy:

You can only pick one: “the process” or “execution.” Which is it?

Who says I can only pick one a-hole? I pick both. Or -- "prexecution." BURN

If Les goes to the NFL, honestly you want the LSU job?

No, I love it here. Lincoln is great, the fans are fantastic and we're building something special together. Just kidding! Of course I would go.

Will the defense be black shirt worthy this coming season?

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA I doubt it.

Have you and T. Mart made up after the poking incident?

We aren't dating you weirdo.

Where would you rather be, BIG Ten or BIG 12?

Whichever conference has more bad teams is the most comfortable fit for me. So, the Big Ten works.

How much does Osborne hanging around campus bug you?

I only mind it when he makes up random dress code rules, like wearing a shirt in my office or a towel in the sauna.

Which division was more lame, Legends or Leaders?  Does anybody even remember which division Nebraska was in?

YOU'RE lame.

Give us your thoughts on conference expansion/realignment.

I don't think about things that are boring, like this interview, which is why I am leaving now GOODBYE.

Thus concludes my talk with Faux Pelini. If you're interested, here's a few questions with the man behind the account. His responses are in italics, and yes haters, he's a Nebraska fan.

What prompted you to start this account?

Back in 2010 Bo was in the middle of probably his craziest season (screaming at Taylor Martinez and many many others), and it seemed like he should have a fake Twitter account. There wasn't one that had much traction so I gave it a shot, and somehow it's still going.

Has there anything aside from your witty comments that has gotten you all your followers?

The avi of Bo and his cat -- which I can't take credit for -- probably doesn't hurt. That and the deal where I send naked photos of Kate Upton to people if they get 100 of their friends to follow me (contact me for details!)(after you already get the 100 people to follow me).

Are you a Nebraska fan?

Yep, I'm a pretty large Husker fan. It might not always be obvious, but I care a lot about the program and the team -- I grew up in Omaha and drank the red Kool-Aid from an early age. I didn't go to NU -- went to a different Big 12 school, actually -- but I'll always be a big fan. I'd be watching all the games anyway, so tweeting can be a good distraction when bad things are happening.

Have you ever met actual Bo Pelini? Do you think he knows about the account?

I have never met Bo and have no idea if he knows about the account, but I imagine he has better things to do than follow his fake self. And he seems to hate Twitter. I imagine he either (a) doesn't know about the account, or (b) wants to punch me in the face.

Which coach do you think does the best job in the NCAA given the program their at/resources at their disposal?

Right now it has to be Bill O'Brien at Penn State doesn't it? I was counting on that program imploding and giving us some easy wins for a while but that doesn't seem to be happening. On the other end of the spectrum, Lane Kiffin seems to do the least with the most and somehow gets away with it. I admire and hate him.