College football coaches are probably the most paranoid individuals on the face of the Earth. Coaches cover their mouths when making play calls, have dummy signalers on the sidelines, and lie on the injury report more than Tony Montana did on his tax forms.
Mario Cristobal is probably the perfect mixture of a Frankenstein’s monster of the cast of King of the Hill. He has the authoritarian traits of Hank Hill, side talks his way through injury details like Boomhauer, is living off glory days like a William Fontaine de La Tour Dauterive, and shares the paranoia of the media ala Dale Gribble.