If the Miami Heats wins its playoff game in Philadelphia Tuesday night, give a loud cheer for South Florida's team. Then, if you have any business at all in downtown Miami Thursday night, make sure to write out a will and goodbye letters to your loved ones and stick them in your pocket, so that decades from now, when archaeological crews finish excavating the Great Miami Traffic Jam Of 2018, they'll be able to identify your dusty skeleton, hands still clutching your rusting car's desiccated steering wheel.
Because that victory would mean that the Heat, instead of being eliminated from the NBA playoffs, would play again on Thursday night at the American Airlines Arena — literally right in the middle of the Mercedes Benz Corporate Run.