I know what you might be thinking: why are we doing a salute to John Denney, when every single day we walk this Earth we are contemplating his mystique?
However.
Misconceptions about his conquests underestimate him, and in the interest of being an objective, investigatory journalist, I dug deep into the annals of history - and by objective, investigatory journalism, I mean I sat around and drank beer and made stuff up.
Since we’re on the subject of being honest and trustworthy, I’ve consulted many of his family members and friends to gather a rich history of his upbringing - and by consulting family members, I mean the only Denney I know is the diner owner (Denny’s) who screwed up the spelling.