As Zlatan Ibrahimovic walked off the pitch on Thursday night, shirtless and fresh from scoring his sixth goal in eight Manchester United starts, it was hard to believe he is about to turn 35.
The Swedish summer signing, who will celebrate his birthday on Monday, had given his jersey to a grateful Zorya Luhansk player and revealed a rippling physique that made everyone inside Old Trafford collectively breathe in. That intimidatingly low body-fat percentage reminded me of 300 with Gerard Butler, the 2006 film about Spartan warriors that involved more six-packs than plotlines and shamed me back to the gym.