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Saluting the Subtle Craft of Under-Appreciated and Underused Michael Carrick

Every other year the strapline of the summer in England is always the same.

Keep the (profanity) ball.

At a major international tournament the sight of an Englishman under little pressure shanking the ball out of touch, while suave continental counterparts look on contemptuously as if a dog has encroached the pitch and cocked its leg, is about as sobering as it gets as a sports fan.

Keep the (profanity) ball.

From Penzance to Carlisle, and all points in between, it has been a phrase religiously spat out in pubs and front rooms throughout pretty much every World Cup or European Championship since France '98.