The mere prospect of it is enough to titillate and to tantalise scholars of English literature everywhere but if Ryan Giggs were to turn his poetic talents towards the plunging fortunes of his alma mater, what a cavalcade of metaphors and similes he might unleash. More of them than all Giggs’s Premier League appearances, which is a lot.
A regret is there would be little reason for him to revisit his signature image of a totem pole as a symbol of excitement. ‘Flaccid’ is not part of the Giggs lexicon but the truth is there has been very little to stir the blood at Old Trafford these past few years, save for us to marvel at quite how bad Manchester United have become and quite how incompetently they’ve been ruled.