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Forget Mino Raiola's £41m cut of the Paul Pogba to Manchester United deal, it's Mario Balotelli's bonus for avoiding three red cards that is ridiculous

At a late stage, Jermain Defoe's transfer to Portsmouth in 2008 hit a snag. Harry Redknapp was summoned from the room next door. Mrs Defoe, Jermain's mum and a famously tough negotiator, wanted a goal bonus for her son.

Redknapp was not entirely placatory. 'Mrs Defoe,' he said, 'Jermain is costing us £12million and we're giving him £50,000 a week. We're not paying him to miss them.'

Mrs Defoe said she thought a bonus would encourage Jermain to score. 'We rather hoped the 50 grand would do that,' Redknapp replied, tartly. These were the good old days before footballers were rewarded for doing what they were supposed to do, and in some cases for not doing what they aren't supposed to do, as well.