I like the idea of Erling Haaland being made in a laboratory by some mad scientist who fancied piecing together the perfect striker, so let’s give it a go.
What parts of other players would you say he gave him? The left foot of Ferenc Puskas? The power of Cristiano Ronaldo? The pace of Gareth Bale? The improvisation of Zlatan Ibrahimovic? The mental strength of Alan Shearer? That scientist seems to have thrown in the physique of Superman and instinct of Spider-Man for the hell of it, too.
And now Pep Guardiola, his manager at Manchester City, is giving him a better brain.