After Monday's Champions League screw-up, has anything embodied the absurdity of modern football better than a UEFA draw? Then again, the serious suits fail to see the funny side!

Be sure to remember this tummy tickler in case the red wine takes hold before crackers are pulled over Christmas dinner.

Joke: how many painfully earnest men dressed in dark suits does it take to unscrew 16 balls without a balls-up?

Answer: Manchester United. No, Manchester City. No, Pedro Pinto.

Monday's Champions League draw descended into a farce and had to be re-done later on

The Champions League draw descended into chaos after Man United were drawn twice

Right. What's gone on here?