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Curry, chicken nuggets... but no helicopter! The crazy story of my transfer deadline day move from Tottenham to Stoke City plus why Olivier Giroud is a great Chelsea buy

Transfer deadline day: those words have taken on a life of their own and created a modern phenomenon.

I've no doubt you will have been checking whatever form of media you could on Wednesday, waiting to see which players were on the move and what clubs could beat the clock to get their targets in. I'd also be willing to guess that you think deadline day is about private jets and smooth talks.

Moving clubs is a topic with which I am familiar — I've done it eight times — but my last transfer was the only occasion I've raced against time.