It's Thursday, July 12th. It's been a tough sports week.
MLB All Star activities got you through Monday and Tuesday - kind of. You were asleep by the 2nd round of the Home Run Derby and spent most of the All Star Game searching the web for where you could get a pair of Melky Cabrera's cleats (those things are sweet)... But you made it through alive.
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The ESPYs were at least something to put on Wednesday night, even though they seem to be increasingly disappointing each year. Actually not disappointing, disappointing implies that you were excited for them in the first place, which is not the case even for the most diehard sports fanatics.
Now it is Thursday. You realize that the sports world has hit rock bottom. A re-run of the Tour De France and a mid season WNBA game are your best TV options. Not even a WNBA playoff game. A mid season game. Luke Harangody is trending on Twitter because he just scored 12 points in a NBA summer league game.
What do you do? Have a panic attack? Try to sleep through until MLB games start again? Become a huge Los Angeles Sparks fan? DIE??
No. It is going to be alright. Take a deep breath, and read this guide to survival. That is how you will make it through The Most Boring Sports Day of The Year.
1. Be Prepared
-Research: Don't let it take you by surprise. Know that it is coming, and you will be slightly less shocked when it hits. This allows for quicker recovery time. Unexpecting sports fans may never recover if they are not ready.
2. Have a Survival Kit
-Whether you plan to seek shelter on your couch, at work, at a buddy's house or a local bar, it is always necessary to have a Survival Kit. These items are essential to survival and could be the difference between complete boredom and well, just half boredom.
-Pack it with:
Cold Beer, good for any situation. What if the bar runs out? What if you panic at work? What if you don't want to get up off the couch and all the way to the fridge? You simply can't make it through this horrid day with just water. (If you are 21 of course)
A picture, video, highlight real, or inspirational quote to remind you of good sports times ahead.
Bar food: A few wings or slices of pizza will suffice. Remember, this must be a mobile package.
Means of self defense: If you are trained in martial arts, skip this step. If not, a small weapon is always good for a crazy, sports deprived world. Some fans lose their minds when they see the same SportsCenter for the 17th time. Some are overwhelmed with disgust and anger. It is always smart to be able to protect yourself.
3. Create an emergency communications plan:
-Talk to friends and family. A calling tree may be the safest and most surefire way to ensure everyone's safety, but often simple text messages to friends, like: "Dude, I'm bored." will work.
-No Fan Left Behind: Don't forget about a friend who may be stuck at home, leaving friends behind may have consequences. Example: "Hey man, have you been watching a Star Wars marathon all weekend? Everyone is at the bar... It's Saturday... Baseball is back on." Dont let this happen to one of your friends.
4. Establish a Meeting place
-Whether it be a nearby watering hole, a golf course, or your house, have a safe place where everyone can meet up and ride out this heinous day.
5. Relax, it is going to be ok
-Baseball will be back this weekend. The Olympics are only 2 weeks away. Thursday may be long, grueling and boring, but follow these simple steps and you will make it.
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