Who?
Not to be confused with the other Texas team that could actually close out a championship series, the Rangers will still be playing actual baseball this season, providing the locals with a nifty distraction until high school football season kicks into gear.
Were they even good last year?
They managed to tie pre-season division winner Seattle for third place in the AL West, finishing 78-84. Their -17 run differential finally reflected their actual record after two years of mediocrity were somehow rewarded with division titles.
What did they do this offseason?