We are required to inform you that these Foretellings are works of satire and are not for the faint of heart. Due to their content they should not be read by anyone. Please enjoy at your own risk. -The Editor
Greetings, Raider Nation! It is I, the Sultan of Sages, the Poobah of Prognostication, the father of foresight and the Prince of Prophets, Raiderdamus the Great and Powerful. I come to you today fresh off a successful and correct prediction of a Raiders loss, and though I am upset by this development, I am also exultant and reveling in the fact that I am King Shit of Fuck Mountain.