A Modest Proposal: for Preventing the Kansas State Fans from Being an Embarrassment to the School, being sad about sports, and for making them Properly Behaved for the almighty ruler, John Currie.
It is a melancholy object to those who travel through this great town or around the country, when they see the sidewalks, the stands, and the student section, crowded with vagabonds all clad in purple, followed by three, four, or six more of their own, all in purple rags and importuning every rival team with their chants. These purple people, instead of being able to behave for their hard working administration, are forced to engage all their time in trolling and ruining the atmosphere for their helpless rivals: who as they show up in Manhattan either seek therapy for what they have experienced, or leave their dear native school altogether to fight for sportsmanship across the nation, or sell themselves to the professional athletic organizations.