The lumber for the St. Petersburg Devil Rays and the Kansas City Royals was kept mostly quiet on this warm, overcast evening at Kauffman Stadium, much to Vladimir Putin’s chagrin. Before tonight’s tilt, the Russian President called the visitors clubhouse at the K, believing himself to be on a secure line and issued the following edict:
You will crush these feeble Americans. Just as their nation has gone, so have these Royals of Kansas City. Once the freshest of loaves in the breadline, they have amassed growths of mold and dried out. Once moist and rich in rye, they now are no better than trash.