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‘No Way To Prevent This,’ Says Only Person Who Could Prevent It

In the hours following the first shutout by the Jacksonville Jaguars since 2009, Shad Khan — the owner of the only team where this kind of national embarrassment routinely occurs — reportedly concluded Monday that there was no way to prevent the rest of the country from laughing.

“This was a terrible hire, but sometimes these things just happen and there’s nothing anyone can do to stop them,” said Khan, echoing sentiments expressed by tens of thousands of fans who cheer for a team that has the lowest winning percentage of any squad in the past 10 years.