The Jacksonville Jaguars are planning to offer up teal hamburgers, teal ice cream, teal beer, and teal everything else except for the goddamn jerseys we asked for all week and nope.
Okay, I will drink the beer. Probably.
But the hamburger? Nope.
Those Tootsie Roll things you only eat if you’re already dead inside sprinkled around the burger and the raspberry-flavored lollipops? Blake Bortles gives me heartburn enough on Sundays, you monsters.
And it seems I’m not the only one horrified by the Jaguars’ efforts.
Nice try.