Oh Mighty Mayo Mavericks!
I, and the rest of Jaguars fans, tremble before you all in hopes of amending what was once a peaceful relationship. I know you’re upset at one of your own desecrating your sacred idol. We’ve documented footage of the incident and distributed it to every tailgating Jaguars fan with the hopes that this’ll never happen again.
If you'd told me at Harvard that I'd be getting paid to judge a mayonnaise belly flop contest at a Jags tailgate, I woulda said... perfect pic.twitter.com/293JE7dGkZ
— Francis (@francisbarstool) September 17, 2017
However, we come before you with the hopes that you’ll show us some mercy.