It’s a Friday at the Big 12 bachelor pad. The conference is preparing to undergo a night of debauchery.
Oklahoma (Wearing a red polo shirt tucked into slack-shorts that rest above the knee and a visor): Okay, I think everyone’s ready to roll. Wait – where’s Baylor?
Texas (Wearing a burnt orange version of the exact same thing as Oklahoma): I made that idiot get his mom’s Astro van. How else are we going to get you nine gimps around tonight?