I’m not here to talk about football. I don’t want to talk about head-scratching (nail-biting, hair-pulling, teeth-gnashing) offense. I also don’t want to talk about how an incredibly skilled and talented defense is going to waste. I’d really rather not talk about special teams or turnovers.
I just want to talk about tailgating.
Weather: Um...never mind. Let’s talk about something else.
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Do you remember last home game when I was like, “Oh no! A high of 40? That’s going to be so COLD!” What an idiot.