You are trying to sell season tickets for a football team that has won six Big Ten games in the last four seasons.
You are trying to convince recruits your school is the place to be, a sleeping giant ready to rise.
You are trying to coax deep-pocketed donors to line up for the next renovation at the House that Red Grange Built.
Then, you play an unexpected game of Simon Sez. And lose.
While Urban Meyer picks between three superstar quarterbacks for his national champion Buckeyes, Mike Thomas answered questions Monday about a disgruntled former player who went on a Twitter tantrum.