Hello, good evening, and welcome to Week 5 of the 2023-24 NFL season. Tonight, we have an NFC matchup that promises to be one for the record books. Keep in mind they keep records for really terrible things too.
travel to our nation’s capital, which is apparently somewhere in Maryland that I can’t be bothered to look up, to take on the inappropriately named Washington Commanders (-6) (see, it’s inappropriate because they’re not in Washin—I don’t wanna get into it).
The Bears are trying to get their first win of the season (heh, good luck) while the Commanders look to get above .