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The Onion on J.J. Watt FEATURED TEXANS LINK

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Hello Houston Fans

Here’s some info that I think you will like taking a glimpse at.

The Onion on J.J. Watt

The Onion offered up a selective preview of the coming NFL season, including a piece on everyone’s favorite Destroyer of Quarterbacks, J. J. Watt.

Unlike most of The Onion’s other previews, it’s pretty complimentary, in an Onion-y sort of way:

AFC PLAYERS TO WATCH: J.J. Watt
Strengths: Ability to get into backfield can disrupt a quarterbacku2019s game for 10 to 12 weeks after surgery; Large hands easily block passes, sun; Gonna have hell of a posthumous Hall of Fame induction highlight video
Weakness: Requires separate ice tub for each arm; 95 percent of his hands-to-the-face penalties fatal; Huge disparity between his will to win and his teamu2019s actual ability to win
Positions On Texans Depth Chart: 8
Notable Pass Rush Moves: Swim, Spin, Shanghai Double-Step
Biggest Regret: Sacking own twin in womb

The rest of the article can be found here:
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