In my personal life, I spent the last few years feeling I was trapped in a circle, finding myself in the same place, doing the same things, every year, as I traveled on this blue and green space ship around the sun and followed through with the calendar’s wishes. During this time I thought I had to work my way out of it. But I had no idea what this really entailed. I did the usual things people do. I read, I ran, I pushed stuff, I stayed sober, I worked hard, I did all of it, but none of it mattered.