The Texans were, and I repeat WERE, 0-8 with a point differential of -120 against the New England Patriots. All of those previous games are entombed in a mausoleum of misery and despair. That was the past. Tonight was different.
In previous games, on those dark days, Matt Schaub threw an interception outside the red zone; failed to score a touchdown after an absurd Danieal Manning return (and multiple kickoff returns for that matter); Barrett Ruud and Darryl Sharpton were covering receivers one on one in man coverage because of insane and absurd defensive designs and personnel overlooks; rookie Case Keenum started at quarterback and was somehow better than Brian Hoyer was (who in turn was even better than the Angel of Death [NAME REDACTED] was); Mike Vrabel’s Cover 4 defense was atrocious; Rob Gronkowski was more ridiculous than switching Juli’en Davenport to right tackle and placing Martinas Rankin at left tackle after Seantrel Henderson’s ankle snapped, and blah-blah-blah-blah.