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Red Zone Play: Five Texans Things For Thursday Night Football

Thursday can’t come fast enough for Houston fans, but having it come a little slower for the players would be helpful. Why is Thursday so exciting for the Texans faithful? Well, none other than Brock Osweiler and the 27th ranked Miami Dolphins offense are coming to town to face Jadeveon Clowney, J.J. Watt and the hungry Honey Badger, Tyrann Mathieu.

Arguably the most immobile quarterback in recent memory, Osweiler’s best impersonation of the statue of Stevie Ray Vaughn in downtown Austin, Texas will surely allow the 9th ranked Texans defense to notch some even better stats than they did against the Bortling Jaguars (Yes, “Bortling” is a verb, mostly used to illustrate poor skills…)

While it would be easy to just say the 5 things for this week are J.