Comrades! It is with heavy heart that we at the Ministry of Information, who work tirelessly to bring you only most honest and reliable news about only team in football that matters, see such lies and horrific falsehoods spilling so much mendacious virtual ink upon internet pages. It makes our hearts heavier to see that such falsetruths are now coming from this most venerable website as well.
It is uncertain what malicious, and potentially perverted, reasons these fine writers would have for posting these incorrect opinions of theirs. The Ministry can only assume that these loyal fans of the Motherland are, at best, confused about the events of the last few weeks, or, at worst, being led astray by treasonous outside actors.