This is, from start to finish, a work of complete and utter crap fiction. Any resemblance to persons living, dead, or somewhere in between is--oh, who are we kidding, it's no coincidence. All names and persons are used in a fictitious manner for the purposes of cheap amusement to get through a very long offseason. I don't know any of these people nor do I know what's going on inside their heads; I'm making this up as I go. In short, please don't sue me, I have no money.
CHAPTER ONE
Of Concussions and Carp.