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Incompletions: Texans v. Patriots (The Fake-Fake Punt)

MATT WESTON:

Numerous things have to go right for this version of the Texans to win a football game. Fortune must rain upon thee. Rabbits feet and four leaves. Mirthful, and blessed, Houston received God’s blessings to go up 22-9. New England’s defensive backs bounced off tackle attempts. Damien Harris fumbled into the endzone. Lonnie Johnson Jr. caught a pass that was thrown too far inside. Davis Mills hit a fleaflicker. Rather than sail with seven sails, dry up the clock, and win the field position battle, the Texans pried their horseshoes off.