Matt Weston:
Look at the Raven. He has a cute little sweater on. It even has the Baltimore Ravens logo embedded on it. I’m sure he needs it. It looks so cold up there in Baltimore.
Think about the Raven, and all those Ravens you’ve seen before. Scurrying around National Park dumpsters; waddling up to you and your campsite with a monocle over one eye, cawing, with confidence that exudes an intelligence higher than your own, drawing your attention away from his posse stealing your wallet, keys, and nitrate infused lunch meat; flying way up in the blue sky, just a dot in your eye; turning the desert into a high school cafeteria buzzing with conversation.