The Texans were, and I repeat WERE, 0-8 with a point differential of -120 against the New England Patriots. All of those previous games are entombed in a mausoleum of misery and despair. That was the past. Tonight was different.
In previous games, on those dark days, Matt Schaub threw an interception outside the redzone; failed to score a touchdown after an absurd Danieal Manning return, and multiple kickoff returns for that matter; Barrett Ruud and Darryl Sharpton were covering receivers one v. one in man coverage because of insane and absurd defensive designs and personnel overlooks; that rookie Case Keenum started at quarterback, and was somehow even better than Brian Hoyer was, who was even better than the angel of death [NAME REDACTED] was, Mike Vrable’s cover four defense was atrocious, and Rob Gronkowski was more ridiculous than switching Juli’en Davenport to right tackle and placing Martinas Rankin at left tackle, after Seantrel Henderson’s ankle snapped, and blah-blah-blah-blah.