Comrades, it brings great pain to heart to report that Ministry of Information has revealed true culprit behind incomprehensible struggles of People’s Football Team of Texas. Was believed originally that vile corruption and actions of agents provocateur from fraudulently named “patriots” of “New England” were responsible for team’s unnecessary struggles. Was believed that rooting out traitor Godsey, who once called offensive plays for our glorious team, was wholly responsible.
Truth is far more grim than that.
Recent revelations have shown that vast conspiracy to sabotage only football team that matters has reached highest echelons of power.