Rise for the Hymn of the Houston Texans:
Playoffs, comrades! Playoffs! Our mighty Houston Texans, the pride of Mother Houston and envy of the known football world, have seized their rightful place as the winners of the AFC South division, the only division in football worth playing! This glorious achievement, an achievement greater than most other teams’ appearances in the Super Bowl, was brought about after an easy, no-doubt 12-10 victory over the hapless Bengals of Cincinnati and the spaghetti sauce they call chili.
It would be easy to think that the people’s football team of Texas could coast the rest of the season, resting on their laurels, and humbly flaunting, like delicious drunken peacocks, their much-deserved triumph over the lesser teams in the division, that the next game does not matter.