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Hi guys and gals! Surprised to see me here, again?
You're probably wondering "how the hell did he convince the fine writing staff of this establishment to let him back on the masthead?"
Well, the truth is, I didn't. I had to resort to less conventional methods involving a live chicken, a three-liter bottle of Diet Dr. Pepper, then waiting for Jupiter to be in the eleventh house and--you know what? The less y'all know the better off you'll be.