I like Leeds United. Many of you are soccer fans, and this will elicit one of two responses:
2) "God, I'm sorry."
Both responses are equally understandable. More on that in a minute.
Many of you are passionately not soccer fans. You prefer Concussionball. You don't understand why if a ball is bouncing along the ground, the players don't just fall on it. You hate the game most of the rest of the world plays as fervently as you hate ice dancing, or the way you hate the way your urine smells after you've eaten asparagus.