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So Long Jared Allen, You Stupid Pretend Hillbilly

With a horse.

Allen played 12 NFL seasons. Most of those (six) were played with the Minnesota Vikings.

Was Allen a good player?

Yeah, he was really good, especially at sacking the quarterback. Allen finishes his career with 136 sacks.

Do we respect the guy? As a player, sure.

We’re not going to fawn over him like everyone else is today, though.

He was a shitty Minnesota Viking, first and foremost. What we’ll most remember about him are two things.

  1. The idiotic calf roping
  2. The number 69

Why 69, Jared?