As the Green Bay Packers set upon their search for a new head coach to replace Mike McCarthy after 13 years on the job, there are plenty of opinions out there as to what kind of coach they need to hire:
“They need a quarterback whisperer, so that we don’t waste any more of Aaron’s career!”
“We need someone to hold this team responsible to a higher standard.”
“We need a young, innovative guy willing to bring our offense and defense into the 21st century!”
The good news is, of course, that all of the other 31 teams NEVER look for these qualities in a head coach, choosing only to hire old, stale, listless coaches, leaving us with a bevy of unemployed perfect candidates for the Packers.