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Brooks Koepka and Bryson DeChambeau's feud is a win for golf -- so lean in, USGA!

To: The United States Golf Association
From: Kevin Van Valkenburg, ESPN senior writer (current 8.8 Index)

Greetings to all my friends and fellow golf obsessives (golf nerds?) at the USGA! I hope this finds you well. I realize this is an extremely busy time for the organization, what with the 121st playing of America's national championship starting Thursday in La Jolla, Calif. The week of the U.S. Open really is one of the most enjoyable (and sadistic) entries on the sports calendar. You're probably busy dumping about a million gallons of water into the rough at Torrey Pines and making sure the grass looks like a fur coat made out of Wookiee skin.