GREETINGS, EARTH CITIZENS. IT HAS BEEN SOME TIME SINCE WE HAVE LAST ADDRESSED YOU, OR SO WE ARE TOLD. FOR WHILE THREE MONTHS HAVE PASSED IT WAS MERELY THE BLINK OF AN EYE TO US. TIME IS MEANINGLESS TO THE ILLUMINATI FOR WE ARE ETERNAL; NEVER FORGET THIS.
WE HOPE YOU HAVE ENJOYED THIS YEAR'S EDITION OF MARCH MADNESS. IT IS OUR ANNUAL REMINDER THAT, DESPITE YOUR DELUSIONAL CLAIMS TO THE OPPOSITE, CHAOS AND DISCORD ARE WHAT ALL HUMANS TRULY VALUE THE MOST. WE PREFER THINGS THAT WAY, CONTROLLING YOU ALL IS SO MUCH EASIER WHEN THERE IS SO MUCH "EVIDENCE" TO SUGGEST THE OPPOSITE IS TRUE.