‘Twas the night before Christmas And all throughout Dixie
Not a Coach was out crootin’
Not even Two-Face Swinney
The Gators were glum
Even filled with despair
As cries of “next year!!!”
Wafted through the swamp air
And Kirbs in his visor
Dell in his Dri-Fit
Had finished their class
With a tailback who’s legit
Muschamp was in the corner
Frantically making a call
To some dude named Bobo
To run the dang ball
While Jimbo in College Station
And the Pitt Boss in Fayetteville
Were lighting the Yule log
With a hundred dollar bill
And a barrel-chested dude
Thick as good gumbo
Was smoking a nutria
Thanking God for Joe Burreaux
When out on the Twitters
There arose a kerfuffle
The bagmen all booked it
Just dropping their duffels
The TV deal was soon ending
And Sankey proposed
New terms to CBS
They’d pay through the nose
But the suits they all balked
They wouldn’t bet the house
Looks like SEC football
Will belong to the Mouse
So if you love Gary Danielson
Pining sweetly Tua-ward
You’ll have to make due
With the sounds of Brock Huard
But I think we’ll be fine
ESPN’s gonna do great
Until they move the Cocktail Party To starting at eight
This poem is done
Like Bama’s playoff fight
So Merry Christmas to all
And to all, a good night.