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Panic on Sanford Dr.

TWO!!
Two weeks!
Scrimmage today.
And Aaron Murray is still in Kansas City!
Where are the tailgate chairs?
HAMSTRINGS!!!!
Is Coach Blount in Marshall Morgan's head?
Wait, who the hell is Coach Blount?
A friend of my lawn guy told him he heard his barber tell the mailman that Sam Vaughn is gonna be named the starter.
14 days!
Has anyone seen the cornhole sacks?
Was that another rumble of thunder?!?
Loran, seriously. Whatchagot?
TWEAKED KNEES!
The water girl stole the Goatee again.