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'Can I forgive Gary? I don't know. It's caused us so much hurt... but of course I want to': Ten years after Gary Speed's shocking death, his widow Louise gives her first interview - and reveals how she and their sons are finally finding acceptance

Related Topics: Howard Wilkinson, Chester, Wales

Louise Speed is sitting on a cream sofa in her beautiful house near Chester. Her four-year-old cockapoo Alfie is at her feet. Outside, just beyond the garden fence, two pheasants compete for territory. It is a beautiful late autumn day.

But for Louise this is always the worst month of the year and this is always the very worst week. It is the anniversary of her husband Gary’s passing.

Gary Speed, the boy-next-door footballer so many people inside and outside the game loved and admired. It has been 10 years now and Louise has found a way to live again, to once again feel happiness and joy.