What can you get when you go to a ball game these days? A $9 beer? A $4, five hour old hot dog on a bun that looks like your grandmother's hand? A black eye from a dad that didn't take kindly to you roundhousing kicking his son so you could catch that fly ball? Urine kickback on your shoes while standing at those ever-so-hygenic troughs? A sweet bobble-head? Yes, that's actually something you want, unless you're into trough trolling.
God bless the ad wizards that work for the Oakland A's promotional department. I haven't seen a ball game giveaway this sweet since I got the mini-bat that put a lifelong scar on my cousin's forehead (stay away from my nachos bro).
What's next, Joey Lawrence-in-a-wife-beater-and-jeans-with-holes-in-them-Bobblehead? Be still my heart, I can only dream it's true. The bobblehead is one of the more fabulous ways to honor someone, or deride someone if you make their ceramic bulge small enough. Sports and pop-culture have become a breeding ground for bobblehead liknesses and with Hammer in mind, let's take a look at some of the better bobbleheads out there in a few different categories.
Best Looking Bobblehead - Complete with creepy collectible breakdown by this weird dude. This guy sells your children baseball cards at the local hobby shop and heard the words "why don't you take a seat," at least thrice from Chris Hansen.
Least Expected Bobblehead - Jane Austen - They couldn't work out a reasonable pay structure with Dostoyevsky's people so Austen was the next logical choice for immortalization in porcelain.
Most Politically Poignant Bobblehead - I guess it's better that he did it in a stall than at the troughs.
Bobblehead that Looks Closest to an Actual Likeness of the Player - You know, because of his huge steroid-ridden head.
Bobblehead for someone that has 34 career homeruns and a .270 average - In recent years the Padres certainly weren't an offensive juggernaut but this is still scraping the bottom of the barrel just to produce a bobblehead.
Most Racist Bobblehead
Only Bobblehead More Offensive than the Above Bobblehead - What accents a denim duvet cover quite like a Rob Schneider bobble-head?
If you know of any other creepy, weird or funny bobbleheads, leave them in the comments.
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