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Death. Taxes. Don Freaking Muhlbach.

Related Topics: Don Muhlbach, Lutjanidae

ALLEN PARK -- Long snappers aren't supposed to have statistics. They aren't supposed to be stories. If you're talking to a long snapper, something's probably gone terribly wrong.

Maybe that explains why Don Muhlbach is so damn alarmed to be talking to me.

"What do you want?" the Detroit Lions long snapper says as I approach his locker, voice equal parts suspicious and disarmingly playful. It's clear he's more than happy to oblige a week-old request to talk, yet not totally comfortable doing it either.

Here's the thing: Muhlbach is a 14-year veteran of the game's most forgettable position.