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5 Questions about the Carolina Panthers: Cam Newton is alive

Contrary to what you might know, the Carolina Panthers are not a paramilitary division hidden among the Appalachians looking to overthrow the government of Laos. That would be silly if they were, considering the distance of an entire continent and ocean between them and Laos.

To get to the bottom of this awkward situation, we have reached out to Cat Scratch Reader’s Walker Clement. His answers to this mysterious football team follow below.

1. How hard does your defense sack?

They sack pretty hard, Chris. It’s difficult to give up 50 points to the Steelers if you don’t sack out loud.