10) My wife has given me soft objects to throw so no one is injured. One of them may or may not be a Rocky doll.
9) No one moves away from my seats/section. (see below)
8) The beer is cheap, the bathroom is clean, and no one is peeing in the sink. That I know of.
7) I have ample opportunity to practice the diction in my curse words.
6) Only my spouse and closest neighbors worry if I’ll be ok.
5) I can rewind like the Zapruder tape to diagram exactly how wrong the referees were.