In a galaxy far, far away...
[Editor's note: Steve Goff dropped major D.C. United news at 1:14am, well after touchline wrote this. I'm adding his piece - D.C. United in talks with Perry Kitchen, pursuing attacking midfielder - in because a) if you're reading this you totally want to talk about what's in there and b) I stayed up way too late waiting for Netflix to flip the Making a Murderer switch. If touchline is not pleased about it, I'd ask that he include a photo designed to upset me in the comments.