Fix your eyes on the October masterpiece at the top of this post; specifically on the left side of that image. You can forget the pumpkin on the right, that was a creation of my girlfriend and she's like actually talented or something. (Ugh, girls. Am I right?)
On the left is a Rockies pumpkin. I carved it last night, my lone attempt at celebrating Halloween. And despite what outward appearances may hold upon first glance with a candle in it and the lights off... it was a disaster.
Being a stand-up guy, I figured it'd be in the community's best interest for me to share my experience carving a Rockies pumpkin, so that you don't make the same mistakes I did.