We at BSN Denver refuse to leave the Colorado Rockies out of tonight’s Oscar festivities and as such, have put together out own very important and elite Academy of deciding important things. The following are the absolutely definitive and not-at-all-subjective selections by this all-knowing committee, a committee that apparently never learned that you don’t hand out awards before any game are played.
I would love to offer you a fancy musical number or some tasteful but edgy comedy touching on the topics of the day and the nominees tonight, but instead i’ll just offer my best fake smile introduce the categories and get back to returning this tux I rented.